Sometimes I feel really helpless. Of course, most people are helpless to some degree–no one has complete control over his or her own life. But being completely unable to rely on the reactions of one’s own body is a helplessness like no other.
Feeling awful is terrible (imagine that!) but not knowing why can make it even worse. Some people get understanding doctors and supportive family, and some don’t. To everyone with a chronic illness who doesn’t have a diagnosis: I’m sorry. I hope medical science advances rapidly and provides you with answers. And maybe also makes us all into cyborgs.
Even with a diagnosis, a sudden change from normalcy to constant sickness must be devastating. I’ve had CFS so long that I don’t remember what not having it is like, emotionally or physically, but it still devastates me sometimes. But who can you rail against? This thief of life can’t be reported.
But now that the internet is a thing, we can find each other. Someone understands. Someone cares. And that someone is me.